I'm bad

"I can't be the bad guy."
- said Heisenberg in Breaking Bad.
(Walter White).

And I realized: I am the bad guy.

Awhile before, the younger partner
learned that we need to accept ourselves
as we are and how self-low and shame
keeps us from the TRUE CHANGE.

I am bad. And I don't even know
the worst of it.
But the climbs I've seen about myself:
WOW!! I REALLY DON'T WANT TO
KNOW WHAT I WOULD OR COULD
BE WITHOUT GOD'S GRACE!!!

So. By admitting what I am without Him
and by forgiving myself and learning to
love myself, on the ground that HE LOVES
ME AND WANTS ME AND HAS FORGIVEN
ME, I'm going to go through THE TRUE CHANGE
and find out: WHAT I CAN BE WITH and IN HIM.

Bit by bit the old man is going to DIE.
In fact, she is already dead, but the renewing
my mind accordingly by His Word, is another story...

AND TODAY I DECIDE TO TAKE THAT ROAD
AND GO THROUGH WITH IT TO THE END.

No matter what comes along and what it costs.

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW, HOW BAD
I'M GONNA BE, IF I'M LEFT WITHOUT HIM!!!

11.8.2015